Michael is about twenty feet away and I want to go into his office and jump him.

Sad, isn't it? My boyfriend is twenty feet away and I can't even touch him, or kiss him, or be near him.

This professional agreement is rubbish. It's impossible.

I just want a normal relationship: where, when I see my boyfriend, if I want to, I can shag him.

If Joseph grins at me and makes another lewd comment I just might scream that I'm taken. But I can't, because if I do he would ask who and then I couldn't be truthful.

Damn you Michael for wanting to keep this professional at work when you look so good all the time.

Sober is good.

No regrets.

The sex was great. Waking up the next morning in his flat? A bit complicated.

During office hours we will be professional... But why the hell does shagging on the file cabinets seem like a great idea now?

I crawled into bed when I got home.

It hurt.

It hurt worse than I would have expected.

I was sober for Merlin's sake. He was piss-drunk though. I suppose it happened for the best... I wouldn't have regretted it though. He might have.

I suppose I should just try to forget about it.

But I just hope he does call me when he's sober.

He never fucked Pansy. He didn't even see her.

What the hell was I thinking when I believed the rumors? I can't even recall who told me the rumors to begin with.

Fuck this.

He didn't break my heart; I broke my own heart.

At least I get to look forward to Michael avoiding me on Monday.

Chi,

I gave him your letter. Happy now?

Love,
Su

PS He's arrogant and self-absorbed with his own importance.

"Action takes precedence over words." - Confucius

Confucius is one of my all-time favorite Chinese philosophers. Every time I would go to visit Nai Nai in China, she'd quote him like she knew him personally.

His words constantly echo in my head, like a broken record. I don't know why. But this quote... this quote seems to fit the situation.

What qualifies as actions? The fact he's ignoring me? The fact he was flirting with me Tuesday?

What qualifies as words? Flirting? Friendliness?

I wish I knew. This is the office, my job. It's not a place for romance and it certainly is not a time for my mind to wander to matters that are not work appropriate.

I'm not at work now. But he is work for me. It should only be work related thoughts about him. That's it. Pleasure and business should be separate; they are separate.